She couldn't’t breathe. It got so bad I had to take her to the emergency room more than once, and they would put a mask on her with a special medication to open up the air sacks in her lungs to give her some relief. The doctors gave her a prescription so that we could administer this medication to her at home when she couldn't’t get enough oxygen to her system. She was able to take in oxygen on her own but the medication helped to open up the air sacks in her lungs to facilitate breathing.
It got worse. Whenever we were not able to help her breathe at home, we went to the emergency room and they gave her double doses of the medication until enough relief was achieved so she could go back home. This continued until the home remedy was not effective any more and she was hospitalized so they could keep her on large doses of the medication. She hated the hospital and insisted on coming home. That was when I learned to change her dippers.I could not administer the proper dosages of the medication and she could not breathe. I called 911 and they took her to the hospital. Six weeks later she died.
Since Yvonnie and I were married in 1994, GGG was constantly on her to go to an attorney and get a will written. His mother, Yvonnie, didn’t think it was necessary since everything was in his name. The house, the car, her bank account, her mutual funds, the oil and gas wells in Minnesota and elsewhere - why would she need to go get a will made when all her possessions were already in both of their names? Yet I guess he didn’t feel secure that he would get everything unless she had a will stating just that. So he contacted an attorney in Wichita who produced a will leaving everything to the son, GGG. However since the attorney put in a statement that I as the husband would not not have any “espousal rights” - what ever that was. I was to sign the document as well as Yvonnie. Yvonnie and I read the document together and wondered what “espousal rights” were. Yvonnie didn’t like the idea of a will in the first place, feeling it was not a necessary instrument. And I, not knowing what “espousal rights” were — we decided not to sign the document. This infuriated GGG and he refused to pay the attorney his $600 fee which Yvonnie ended paying. After Yvonnie died, in November of 2000, I wondered what “espousal rights” were and contacted an attorney to enlighten me. He said my espousal rights amounted to $53,000 of Yvonnie’s estate. So he took it to probate court. He told me that all her assets were frozen until the probate was settled. It didn’t turn out this way. GGG obtained an attorney who out maneuvered my attorney and obtained possession of the house and started renting it when I moved out. His attorney was smarter than mine and would not accept my financial statement as submitted to the court and challenged it in a suit. My attorney never told me about the suit and a judgment against me was granted when I didn’t show up in court for the hearing. When I finally found out about the suit I was ready to bail out of the whole mess my inept attorney had me in. I told him to stop the probate action. He did not do it so I told him he no longer represented me in the matter. So now GGG’s attorney was out to collect the judgment for my not showing up in court. Enough of that for now. GGG wanted me out of the house as soon as possible so he could rent it or sell it. He told me I could stay there as long as I wanted if I wanted to pay him rent. Yvonnie had given me a letter that stated that after her death I could stay at her house as long as I wanted. In addition she made a video in which she states that after her death I could have any of her possessions that I wanted. She died in October of 2000. I moved to my place, on Saint Cloud, January 2001. I replaced my furniture with hers and gave mine to grandson, Michael Andrew.
I went on a Friendship Force trip to Chile and Brazil in November 2000.
When I returned I found that the Candle Club, a local upscale watering hole, was a good hang-out with possibilities of meeting a female to my liking. A divorcee, Cathy, caught my eye. She was one of a group that gathered every Monday night(and other nights as well), that was known as the “Wax Museum.” She was about 10 years younger than me and somewhat attractive. But I had been out of the “dating game” for so long (Yvonnie and I had been together 13 years), How would I do after being out of “the hunt” for so long? We had a couple of dances, and drinks, at the Candle, then I got up nerve enough to ask for a date to take her to a movie. She accepted and I picked her up and opened the car door for her(aren't you still supposed to do that?) and returned her to her door after the movie. She didn’t invite me in - maybe because her daughter was there visiting. The daughter was about 30 and really a good-looking chick. At the door I got a quick kiss to Kathy's cheek. I had heard that some get sex on the first date. But I was satisfied with the cheek kiss. I wondered if I could ever get her over to my place for more then a cheek kiss. But actually I only wanted someone to sleep with, not necessarily for sex, especially since my sexual prowess had been almost destroyed by the radiation they used to get rid of my prostate cancer. But Yvonnie was thankful that Viagra came on the market(and so was I). Anyway my harmonies were raging like a teenager and I needed to see if I could get someone in the sack if I really tried. We had dates the following three nights, the next day was Sunday and I ask her to go to church with me but she declined. Was I rushing her? I still only got to the front door. Maybe she was afraid of me? Her ex had been a coach at WSU. He left her for a younger gal he met in a local gin mill. Kim was 30 years his junior and after a few years they were divorced. I ran into this Kim a few years later and when she told me her last name I knew it was Jerry’s ex’s girl friend. No sparks between us so I declined to get involved especially since she had two rug rats at home.
Sharris was a member of the Downtown Lion’s Club when I met her in early 2000. A shapely lass about 20 years my junior. She was employed by a company who built upscale complexes, with apartments, all over the world. Sharris job was to sell the apartments. She was a very attractive lady with a very attractive body. She had been married but was not now and I assumed she joined the Lion’s Club to look over the male population or to possibly find more potential clients for her apartments. Her only flaw, from my perspective, was that she was very religious. In fact she went to Costa Rica to paint a mural on a new church’s wall, at her own expense just because her church asked her to do it.
I knew she was leaving for Costa Rica after a Lion’s meeting so I got up nerve enough to edge close to her and gave her a kiss on the lips as she said goodbye to us - she didn’t seem to object which kind of surprised me in this age of cheek kissing in general. She was back in a few weeks and I knew we would make a great couple even though she was such a religious person. But there was Yvonnie. Yvonnie died in October. I gave Sherris a call in December. We were hot and heavy in late December and early January. No sex, just a lot of holding and kissing in my car or her car. She came to my place once and we had a couple of drinks and I invited her to spend the night — but she declined and ask why I had asked her to do it. I told her that I thought you were supposed to have sex on your first date and I didn’t want her to think I was not in tune with the times by not trying to have sex with her. I was so infatuated with her I called her every day and tried to see her every day. I felt I was in Love with her. I pestered her so much she finally told me she wanted to break it off. I had been dumped. I had over-played my hand.
Cathy had gone to her place in California for a few months and nothing else showed up at the Candle Club that I could be interested in so I ventured out to the Diamond Club.
Cindy Summers was singing there. I had met Cindy 10 years earlier when I hired her and guitarist, Bob Wiley, to entertain at my Halloween Party. I hadn’t seen her in years, but here she was singing at the Diamond Club.
I ask her where she was staying and she said at a hotel. I told her that I had extra bed rooms at my place and she was welcome to move in if she wanted to. She took me up on it! Cindy is a tall, about 5’ 8,” good looking girl about 32 who had been all over the country doing “Patsy Cline” during the 10 years she had been gone from Wichita. And now she was doing the club scene in Wichita between calls for her to do the “Patsy Cline” show in some distant city. She and her Sheltie dog, “Charlie,” moved into my basement bed room.
She was my house guest. No rent was expected or ask for. What kind of relationship should we have? Should I try for a sexual relationship? How responsive would she be? Or maybe a father-daughter relationship, since I was about 30 years her senior. Actually she had such great talent and was such a great performer I was in somewhat awe of her and the thought of approaching a “lover” type of relationship on her sort of scared me. Could I stand rejection?(after all remembering that Sharris had just dumped me). When she first moved in I took her to upscale eateries, such as “The Black Canyon,” for our evening meal. And then when we returned home and she was ready to go to her bedroom I would give her a goodnight kiss on the cheek — not having the guts to try for a lip kiss — even though that is what I wanted the most of all. But I did get a few lip kisses but felt awkward about it. Her dog, “Charlie,” was getting old and needed a shot each day for his ailments.
She administered these and took him for walks. When she had to leave town for a “Patsy Cline” performance she drove so she could take Charlie with her. She had to stay in a facility which would allow pets. I always felt the dog was a drag on her career having to go with her everywhere. She didn’t have an agent but got referrals from connections she had established from past performances. I was hesitant about trying to start an affair with her. Her life was surreal, working at the club five nights a week and getting home between 3 and 4 each night then taking Charlie out for a walk and giving him his shots. I thought it better not to go the affair way. Maybe the thought of a rejection would strain our friendly relationship we had. Cindy was my house guest for 18 months. Each night she would bring home flowers that guys at the club had bought for her from the “flower lady” who made the clubs selling roses. One admirer, an elderly, short, bald guy brought her flowers each night — like a dozen red roses. He always sat on one of the stools at the piano bar at the Diamond. Cindy danced with him once in a while — I think this was his only reward for his ardent attention. One cowboy type patron, possibly an entertainer of sorts, sort of laid claim to Cindy. He wanted to revamp an old movie theater on the west side into a place where Cindy could do “Patsy Cline” each weekend. It took him about 18 months to do it, but he did do it. He said he had ask her to marry him but she turned him down. The show ran for about nine months. They split and Cindy said he had “stiffed” her from some money he owed her.
A friend told me he had a neighbor who was recently divorced that I might be interested in. Wanda was a very good looking lady about 55 with a nice place on the west side.
Wanda invited me over for Sunday dinner at her little neat place. She was a gardener, of sorts. She had many shrubs and flower beds she kept up and of which she was proud. We had many glasses of wine and I gently kissed her goodnight, at the door, not having the guts to try for more. I am not sure I could have performed after so many glasses of wine - any way it would have been fun to try.
We had other dates, to the Cotillion for "Over 28 Dances," and lunches. But it always ended with just a kiss at the door. She really didn't turn me on, even though she was an attractive woman. Somehow she was just too big for me. Probably only 5'6" - but she had really big legs. On one of my visits to her place she had shorts on and they revealed her rather large legs. Sandra had come into my life and it was getting hard to get away from her to see Wanda. It was time to pull the plug. A dance was coming up at the Cotillion and I wanted to take Sandra but I knew Wanda would expect me to take her. I was trying to figure out how to let Wanda know my desires when she left me a note on my answering machine saying she would not be able to go to the Cotilloin for this dance. She didn't say why and to this day I don't know - maybe I hadn't lived up to her expectations by not trying to bed her or be more amorous when we were together. Anyway the Wanda problem had been solved. We see each other now occasionally when she invites me over for her birthday bash or she comes over to my "Derby Day Party" or "Halloween Party."
Long time Jaycee friend, Bob Jones, on a visit to the area, stopped in Wichita, so we had to have a poker game. Before he left for the west coast we had had many poker games with him in attendance.
It is now 2009, and I have been on a trip to Ulyanovsk, Russia, on May 23, of 2007, with 7 other Kansas Friendship Force members. Then a trip to Canada in August with about 24 other FF members. These trips will let me know if my aging body(87 in August) can take any more trips of such nature down the road. I hope I can because there are a lot of places that I have not been to yet!
I don't know how I can express how lucky I feel to have Sandra (Laurenzi) as my companion in these later years of my life. Though I am 24 years older than she, she makes life interesting and refreshing without trying to change me to fit her view of a perfect companion.
To start the story over, go to:
http://lifeandtimesoffredhadley.blogspot.com
